Well, it's time for another post on the blogspot :0) Sometimes I find myself carving the feeling of putting my struggles down on paper so that it may help another woman out there with the same stuggles... I am experiencing one of those times in life where stress and old habits have been dictating to me my workouts and motivation...probably 4-5 times a week I have women tell me the stories of how they lost tons of weight and picked it right back up about a year later...honestly, it scares me to death to think I could be in that position a year from now...
When you get to a certain point, people like to think, "wow...she did it..." and the accountability factor is gone....people get jealous....people start thinking that you did it and now the Journey is done....well, nothing could be farther from the truth...I still need accountability. I still need to be pushed. I still need to continue working toward my goals. I still need to be always aware that I need to put my fitness needs first before anyone elses. That is hard to do because it is easier to focus on other people's goals and issues than to focus on your own.
As women, it is super important that we always know that fitness is NOT a vanity thing....it is truly a life necessity! Girls, I implore you to take time daily to focus on your own fitness goals...it's not about vanity....its about life and living it to the fullest! Now get out and do it!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
FIGHT
It has been a while...to say the least, I have been so super busy working a couple of jobs at the same time :0) But here is the latest....
I am so excited to say that I am maintaining my weight loss...there are days where I think, "Oh dear, I'm gonna wake up tomorrow morning and be 270lbs again!" My trainer, Rob Hatch, said to me this past week, "You still don't trust your body do you?" I had to truthfully answer him with , "NO!" I don't....that started me thinking....will I ever fully trust myself to not let myself go again...will I ever trust myself to NOT eat my way through my emotional highs and lows....do you ever get to the place where you can say, "ok, I KNOW I will never be that way again..."
I wish I knew the answer....but honestly, I wake up EVERY DAY scared to death that I will be that 270lb wallflower again...the mom who was tired all the time...the woman who was always paranoid that people were laughing at her...the woman who wished she could wear cute clothes, but settled for Lane Bryant instead...I'm not knocking any of these things BUT it is NOT what I want for my life...so, I am committed....I will FIGHT for the rest of my life...I will FIGHT the urge to use food as medication for my pain....I will FIGHT my will that tells me to give up on that last mile of a 5 mile run...I will FIGHT the urge to feel like I am not worth all the energy it takes to stay healthy....WHY all the determination?????
Three reasons...the JOY of helping others....the LOVE for my kids.....the PLEASURE of feeling good!!!
I am so excited to say that I am maintaining my weight loss...there are days where I think, "Oh dear, I'm gonna wake up tomorrow morning and be 270lbs again!" My trainer, Rob Hatch, said to me this past week, "You still don't trust your body do you?" I had to truthfully answer him with , "NO!" I don't....that started me thinking....will I ever fully trust myself to not let myself go again...will I ever trust myself to NOT eat my way through my emotional highs and lows....do you ever get to the place where you can say, "ok, I KNOW I will never be that way again..."
I wish I knew the answer....but honestly, I wake up EVERY DAY scared to death that I will be that 270lb wallflower again...the mom who was tired all the time...the woman who was always paranoid that people were laughing at her...the woman who wished she could wear cute clothes, but settled for Lane Bryant instead...I'm not knocking any of these things BUT it is NOT what I want for my life...so, I am committed....I will FIGHT for the rest of my life...I will FIGHT the urge to use food as medication for my pain....I will FIGHT my will that tells me to give up on that last mile of a 5 mile run...I will FIGHT the urge to feel like I am not worth all the energy it takes to stay healthy....WHY all the determination?????
Three reasons...the JOY of helping others....the LOVE for my kids.....the PLEASURE of feeling good!!!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I'm in love...with a COCONUT CAKE
Well, today I am thinking about how I wish I could tell our clients that once you lose the weight, you have won.....UNFORTUNATELY, that is so not the case....as I continue on my journey of weightloss, I am reminded that truly, it will never be over...my love affair with coconut cake will ever be present in my mind...so how do I deal? Here are 5 things I do...maybe they will help you:
1) I examine my focus...am I focusing on my clients too much? Sometimes it is easier to focus on what others are doing wrong when the real problem lies within...am I slacking on my running, my weights, my eating...etc
2) When I want to go on an emotional eating binge, I call my trainer!!!
3) I buy a really awesome dress or pair of jeans that are too tight to be comfortable, and I wear them for about 20 minutes...believe it or not, it makes me wanna keep pressing forward
4) I look at pictures of myself...old ones...new ones...always inspires me
5) I remind myself that this is a lifestyle change for my HEALTH! My kids deserve a healthy mom to take care of them...and I deserve to be able to tie my shoes and breathe at the same time!
1) I examine my focus...am I focusing on my clients too much? Sometimes it is easier to focus on what others are doing wrong when the real problem lies within...am I slacking on my running, my weights, my eating...etc
2) When I want to go on an emotional eating binge, I call my trainer!!!
3) I buy a really awesome dress or pair of jeans that are too tight to be comfortable, and I wear them for about 20 minutes...believe it or not, it makes me wanna keep pressing forward
4) I look at pictures of myself...old ones...new ones...always inspires me
5) I remind myself that this is a lifestyle change for my HEALTH! My kids deserve a healthy mom to take care of them...and I deserve to be able to tie my shoes and breathe at the same time!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Get Your SHIELD ready for BATTLE!
One of the biggest enemies to my own weight loss has been myself. I have found all along the journey times where I would kill my own goals and desires. Here are some of the times when I fought myself the most:
1) When I felt loneliness
2) When I worked really hard and saw no results during a week
3) When my mind would go back to something cruel said to me about my weight
4) When it was easier to focus on helping someone else instead of myself
5) When it was too painful to work on the reasons WHY I had become a 268lb woman
There are days when I look in the mirror expecting to see that "other" woman. There are days when losing 106lbs is still not enough. How do you combat these days of self hate?
1) My accountability partner...he listens to me gripe and about my feelings, but Rob Hatch never indulges me when I am having a "pity party". He just offers encouragement and a new perspective. EVERYONE NEEDS ACCOUNTABILITY!!!
2) Have patience! I didn't put weight on overnight, and it will not come off overnight! There is still life to live...you cannot stay so focused on losing weight that it steals your everyday joy
3) Be honest with yourself. Will I ever look perfect? NO! But do I love the girl in the mirror now? Absolutely...because she set a goal and went for it.
4) It is always easier to help someone else than to help yourself. You MUST guard your workout times!!! It is not selfishness! It is your LIFE and HEALTH!
5) There are some very specific issues that lead to being obese. I have had to dig into my heart and my past to figure out why I let myself get to that point. It is not easy.
This is an everyday battle! A battle for my life is going on every hour! But let me tell you...it is SOOOOOO worth the fight! I feel better than I ever have in my life! Now, I get to share this journey with others and try to help them! No regrets...just loving my new life!
1) When I felt loneliness
2) When I worked really hard and saw no results during a week
3) When my mind would go back to something cruel said to me about my weight
4) When it was easier to focus on helping someone else instead of myself
5) When it was too painful to work on the reasons WHY I had become a 268lb woman
There are days when I look in the mirror expecting to see that "other" woman. There are days when losing 106lbs is still not enough. How do you combat these days of self hate?
1) My accountability partner...he listens to me gripe and about my feelings, but Rob Hatch never indulges me when I am having a "pity party". He just offers encouragement and a new perspective. EVERYONE NEEDS ACCOUNTABILITY!!!
2) Have patience! I didn't put weight on overnight, and it will not come off overnight! There is still life to live...you cannot stay so focused on losing weight that it steals your everyday joy
3) Be honest with yourself. Will I ever look perfect? NO! But do I love the girl in the mirror now? Absolutely...because she set a goal and went for it.
4) It is always easier to help someone else than to help yourself. You MUST guard your workout times!!! It is not selfishness! It is your LIFE and HEALTH!
5) There are some very specific issues that lead to being obese. I have had to dig into my heart and my past to figure out why I let myself get to that point. It is not easy.
This is an everyday battle! A battle for my life is going on every hour! But let me tell you...it is SOOOOOO worth the fight! I feel better than I ever have in my life! Now, I get to share this journey with others and try to help them! No regrets...just loving my new life!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
WOW! Last post was November???
I cannot believe my last post was in November! So many things have happened in my life since then! I am going to start blogging about my weightloss journey. My hope is that it will inspire those who haven't chosen to join the journey OR help those struggling with weightloss.
So what led me to choose to try it ONE MORE TIME?
I was sick of being fat. I was tired of having to choose between breathing or bending over because they couldn't happen at the same time. I was tired of being tired all the time. I was dying on the inside because I knew I was not the same person on the outside as I was on the inside. I was withdrawn and lonely. I knew I needed to do something. The shots and pills just weren't going to do it alone.
I had Rob's number for weeks, but just never wanted to call. I was afraid of what he would think when he saw a 270lb woman walk through the door...would he be thinking, "Yeah right!" But with some encouragement from Tim, I called and set up an appointment. The first day, he stood me in front of the mirror and said, "You aren't made to carry around all this weight. Look at yourself..." I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I hated myself for scarring my body up with food and emotional eating. I hated myself for putting myself last for 13 years and just packing on the weight. I CHOSE to do that to myself.
Listen to me people...as a woman who has lost 104lbs....there is NOTHING wrong with making time to workout! In fact, you have to do it...for your children, for your family, and most of all for yourself! Too many people make excuses for why they can't or won't workout. There are NO excuses! NONE...don't carry around that shell for another month...you have to peel that shell of fat off from your body. You will NEVER regret it...
I promise to blog at least ONCE a week about my weightloss...hopefully you can take something away that will inspire you...
So what led me to choose to try it ONE MORE TIME?
I was sick of being fat. I was tired of having to choose between breathing or bending over because they couldn't happen at the same time. I was tired of being tired all the time. I was dying on the inside because I knew I was not the same person on the outside as I was on the inside. I was withdrawn and lonely. I knew I needed to do something. The shots and pills just weren't going to do it alone.
I had Rob's number for weeks, but just never wanted to call. I was afraid of what he would think when he saw a 270lb woman walk through the door...would he be thinking, "Yeah right!" But with some encouragement from Tim, I called and set up an appointment. The first day, he stood me in front of the mirror and said, "You aren't made to carry around all this weight. Look at yourself..." I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I hated myself for scarring my body up with food and emotional eating. I hated myself for putting myself last for 13 years and just packing on the weight. I CHOSE to do that to myself.
Listen to me people...as a woman who has lost 104lbs....there is NOTHING wrong with making time to workout! In fact, you have to do it...for your children, for your family, and most of all for yourself! Too many people make excuses for why they can't or won't workout. There are NO excuses! NONE...don't carry around that shell for another month...you have to peel that shell of fat off from your body. You will NEVER regret it...
I promise to blog at least ONCE a week about my weightloss...hopefully you can take something away that will inspire you...
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Birthday Post
So, for me, writing is like therapy...when I want to get something off my chest, I will write...tonight, I am writing simply out of boredom...
Birthdays are always a time to reflect on life and sometimes get all emotional...for me, because Tim is out of town, I decided to write a Bucket List:
1) Go back to Italy and really spend time looking at the artwork and sip Italian coffee
2) Someday I want to overcome my fear of snakes
3) I would love to go to the Empire State Building on New Year's Eve
4) Spend the night in the rain forest in Costa Rica in like a resort that is in the middle of nowhere
5) Go to Egypt
6) Run a half marathon
7) See the friends that I made in Russia when I was 17
8) Reconnect with my piano and singing
9) Sew a dress for Chloe that doesn't look homemade
10) Camp out under the stars with just a sleeping bag and no tent
Pretty simplistic...but all very sincere...Thank God for all He has given to me and all He does for me in spite of myself. His mercy is not measurable!!! He pours it on me daily!
Birthdays are always a time to reflect on life and sometimes get all emotional...for me, because Tim is out of town, I decided to write a Bucket List:
1) Go back to Italy and really spend time looking at the artwork and sip Italian coffee
2) Someday I want to overcome my fear of snakes
3) I would love to go to the Empire State Building on New Year's Eve
4) Spend the night in the rain forest in Costa Rica in like a resort that is in the middle of nowhere
5) Go to Egypt
6) Run a half marathon
7) See the friends that I made in Russia when I was 17
8) Reconnect with my piano and singing
9) Sew a dress for Chloe that doesn't look homemade
10) Camp out under the stars with just a sleeping bag and no tent
Pretty simplistic...but all very sincere...Thank God for all He has given to me and all He does for me in spite of myself. His mercy is not measurable!!! He pours it on me daily!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Take My Hands, Lord, Before I Kill That Rabbit!
I never realized when God called us to home school our children how difficult it would be! I knew it would be fun and exciting, but I didn't think about the day to day things. This week, I was reminded that homeschooling would be for me a time where I give myself daily to Jesus so that He can pour my love and knowledge into my kids.
So even today when I can't go to the bathroom by myself I am reminded that I need to give God my time...when I wanted five minutes by myself to drink a cup of coffee, I had to give that time to God. When I wanted to speak sarcasm instead of loving words, I needed to give God my lips...when I wanted to kill the rabbit that keeps coming back day after day and causing the dogs to bark, I am reminded to give my hands to God...:)
This is an adventure. Homeschooling is the BEST thing I have ever done. I have gotten to know my kids in such a deeper way. God has revealed to me some things in my own life that my children have learned from me that need to change. Through it all, God brings joy to me in the little things. It may be through a little giggle. It may be through being greeted by Slade with a "Hello, Miss Piggy!" It may be through my kids rolling around on the floor wrestling all together. These things are so small, but they bring BIG joy!
So even today when I can't go to the bathroom by myself I am reminded that I need to give God my time...when I wanted five minutes by myself to drink a cup of coffee, I had to give that time to God. When I wanted to speak sarcasm instead of loving words, I needed to give God my lips...when I wanted to kill the rabbit that keeps coming back day after day and causing the dogs to bark, I am reminded to give my hands to God...:)
This is an adventure. Homeschooling is the BEST thing I have ever done. I have gotten to know my kids in such a deeper way. God has revealed to me some things in my own life that my children have learned from me that need to change. Through it all, God brings joy to me in the little things. It may be through a little giggle. It may be through being greeted by Slade with a "Hello, Miss Piggy!" It may be through my kids rolling around on the floor wrestling all together. These things are so small, but they bring BIG joy!
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